Wacko Jacko the IT Security Experto

After being declared having the best infosec song ever with “Smooth Criminal”, Michael Jackson took some time out of his busy schedule to speak exclusively with the cynic.

Moonwalking its way right onto this site, the full unedited text of how it went down:

IC: Hi Michael, thanks for taking the time out to speak with me today, how are you?

MJ: I’m doing really good thanks and I’m honoured to be here.

IC: Now much has been said about you over the years, but I don’t think your passion for information security or computers has ever been discussed.

MJ: No, it hasn’t. To be honest I’m a very private kind of guy. I don’t like really discussing my personal hobbies or tastes with many people. I didn’t really know much about computers, but I had some friends who used to stay round at my Neverland ranch who knew a lot about computers and they really got me into it.

IC: Your Neverland guests have been the cause of a lot of controversy for you in the past

MJ: It’s OK, I don’t mind reaching bottom.

IC: So what was the inspiration behind ‘Smooth Criminal’? A lot of people associate the song to be about a woman named Annie, who has been attacked in her apartment by a hitman.

MJ: (laughs) yeah, that’s what most people thought. The song is sung from the first person perspective of a windows PC. Annie is the lady who owns the computer which gets hacked.

IC: Is she hacked because of not running a firewall or anti-virus?

MJ: No, she was enticed by a charming young man through a social networking site. He promised her flowers and happiness. She was so smitten by him, that when he sent her an email which contained a malicious attachment, she opened it up and executed it despite the PC’s warning messages.

IC: Is that why the computer repeatedly asks “Annie are you OK”

MJ: Exactly, its to show that if you put up too many warning prompts, a user will end up ignoring them. Hence the computer is repeatedly asking Annie if she’s sure she wants to continue and she keeps on clicking ‘OK’

Once Annie has clicked ‘OK’ this smooth criminal has achieved his target and there’s nothing she can then do to stop the carnage.

IC: That’s a really wonderful insight. What other songs are based on infosec

MJ: (winks) that’s for me to know and you to find out.

IC: Errrm where do you get your inspiration from?

MJ: I don’t know, I guess it’s just all the energy I have. I always feel like a little boy inside of me.

IC: Thank you very much for your time and I wish you all the best, is there anything else you’d like to say to your fans before we go?

MJ: Thank you very much for all your love and support over the years. Always believe in yourself and never give up hope. I was born a poor black boy in Gary, Indianan and grew up to become a rich white woman in Europe!

Disclaimer:  You know this is a parody blah blah