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A chat with the boss

So today was one of those rare days I came up with a good business plan. I was so excited about it I phoned up my boss to run the idea past him. Transcript of the call is below:

Boss - Hello

Cynic - Whassup chief.

Boss – Oh, it’s you. What can I do for you?

Cynic - Well, I had this really brilliant idea. It will raise security awareness amongst your users and let your customers know how seriously we take their privacy.

Boss – Sounds interesting, what’s your plan?

Cynic – Well I was thinking I could deliver a presentation on infosec to the shareholders at the annual general meeting.

Boss – Errrm it’s a good idea, but do you have experience in presenting?

Cynic – Pah, who needs experience? I mean its just talking, if you can talk to one person, you can talk to a thousand at the same time!

Boss – But what will you talk about?

Cynic – Oh just general infosec stuff. I talk about security all day long, I’m sure I can come up with some relevant stuff on the spot.

Boss – You can’t just make it up on the fly at the AGM! You need to get your presentation prepared, approved and practise it before I’ll let you even utter a single word!!!

Cynic – But think of all the benefit you’ll get from me delivering a top notch presentation.

Boss – Now you’re just being silly. How on earth can I take such a risk?

Cynic – Let me get this straight, you want me to list the requirements of the presentation, write up the slides, practise the slides, maybe do a dry-run in front of a small group and only once you and your peers give it the thumbs up will you let me talk at the AGM just because you’re paranoid I’ll ruin the company’s reputation?

Boss – YES!!!!!

Cynic – I didn’t realise you were such an expert on managing risk through a structured systems development lifecycle… why do you suddenly feign ignorance when I tell you want your latest website to go live without any security requirements considered or a penetration test?

Boss – Ummm lets take this subject offline.

Cynic – Offline? We’re the only two people on the phone!

*click*

Cynic – happens all the time…