Infosec in 10 years time

Even in the future I can't remember my password

Unless you’re a worthless, unemployed lazy bum, you’re more than likely to have come across a process known as an interview.
For you lazy bums out there who’ve never been interviewed, an interview is a bit like what you do when buying your first car. You have little idea of what you want, but you kick [...]

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Misunderstanding Cybercrime

Thats a big fingerprint

Information Security used to be easy. I would spend the day emailing friends, wait until my manager hassled me for the 17th time about responding to a users query, make a couple of recommendations attaching a copy of the security policy then go back to emailing pictures which explained why there was only one female [...]

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Most Annoying Consultants

Thats all your stinkin policy is good for

Infosec would have a better reputation if all consultants were perfect like me. When speaking to a project manager, we should have completed our research. Scoured the internet, finding out what a particular application does and how many security vulnerabilities are out there. The list goes on, but suffice to say a good consultant always [...]

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Most over-hyped security

I don't care if you're an old woman. You're taking your shoes off or I will tazer your wrinkly ass

Whether you call it security theatre or just a sales pitch that sets expectations too high. We’ve had lots of products and processes that have claimed to increase security only to contain enough hot air to propel one of Richard Bransons baloons across the world.
Here’s the cynical breakdown of security that was too hyped up.
Airport [...]

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Michael Jackson on Infosec

Wacko Jacko the IT Security Experto

 
After being declared having the best infosec song ever with “Smooth Criminal”, Michael Jackson took some time out of his busy schedule to speak exclusively with the cynic.

Moonwalking its way right onto this site, the full unedited text of how it went down:

IC: Hi Michael, thanks for taking the time out to speak with me [...]

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7 ways Infosec can prepare you for Swine Flu

Pandemic flu, virus outbreaks, the end of the world. These are things that a cynic laughs in the face of… but an infosec cynic only raises an eyebrow.
If working in Infosec, which is an industry built on the solid foundations of PC viruses, has taught me anything. Its how to survive a pandemic. I look [...]

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5 reasons to love infosec

Infosec sometimes unfairly gets a lot of bad press for being a barrier to business goals and objectives. How infosec professionals don’t understand business needs and drivers. How pouring money into security is about as good as burning it.
But infosec has improved the quality of working and the lives of workers the world over. The [...]

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When the Cynic went to Infosec

Day 1 and I was determined to be at infosec nice and early, wanting to cram all the information I could in the one day that I was attending. However, things didn’t start off too well.The trains on the Picadilly line were suspended and took me around 2 hours getting to Earls Court.
Other than the [...]

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8 films that needed more infosec

Many times its difficult to illustrate the benefits of following good information security advice. Company’s tend to keep quiet about their failings so there are few case study’s available to analyse.

But not to fear, the cynic has improvised and analysed 8 movies whose entire outcomes could have been changed had some simple infosec guidelines been [...]

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The Cynics guide to information security consultancy

So you want to be an infosec consultant? If you’re like most guys, its better you consider a career in risk management or audit. Or maybe you’ve already got some variation of “security” in your job title but are stuck in a rut. Results are coming slowly and career progression is almost non-existent. What you [...]

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The Cynical Roundup: The year so far Q1-2009

Obama allowed to keep his blackberry
President 2.0 fought against the Whitehouse’s security policy of no personal emails by lying on the floor of the oval office and crying for 15 minutes until his demands were met.
 
Neither George W Bush not Bill Clinton used e-mail during their presidencies. When asked to comment on blackberry users, George [...]

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Infosec 2009

Speak to anyone born before 1975 and they’ll harp on about ‘the good old days’ and how the younger generation of today have everything too easy.
Naturally, being born after 1975, I disagree with the viewpoint. Take education for example. In the olden days you packed kids off to whichever boarding school was furthest from where [...]

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Ross Anderson does it again

In what is becoming an attention-grabbing ‘look at me’ trend, Ross Anderson, the much-famed Professor of Security Engineering at Cambridge University has added to his ongoing list of entertaining gripes and accusations, the good Professor has stated that the dedicated cheque and plastic fraud crime unit is funded by banks!
Apparently having banks part fund an [...]

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We’re safe, it’s covered it in our policy

So apparently the courts have deemed it fine to release a labour peer from jail, even though he was texting on his mobile whilst travelling on the motorway, had a crash and killed 28 year old Martyn Gombar.
Of course, what else would you expect from a country who bought you such lovelies as Garry Glitter, [...]

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Privacy Vs security Vs make me famous

It gets quite scary when the Government admits that it will cross all moral boundaries in order to prevent those terrorist networks with sleeper cells living right next door to you.
There have been many column inches and heated debates devoted to the security versus privacy argument. How much privacy are you willing to give up [...]

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Toxic information

Amongst banks going bankrupt and the economy ever-spiralling downwards, the one thing you can bet on will happen all the time is data loss. Whether it be a payment firm being breached, a retailer with an unsecured network, or employee’s walking out of the office with gigs worth of company sensitive information.
On the flip-side, amidst [...]

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Return on Security Investment

Being a man, I have to make blow everything out of proportion when it comes to little aches, pains, headaches and man-flu’s. More often than not, I’ve gone to the Dr. convinced that some bone is fractured into small fragments and that I’ll need bolts and cables to repair them only to be told its [...]

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Laundered USB sticks

It appears as if USB memory devices are one of the most useful yet dangerous tools ever developed.
Freeing people from the labour of carrying boxes filled with 1.4″ floppy drives, being capable of sharing songs, photos, documents and presentations with ease have made memory sticks very popular.
On the flipside, company’s sometimes use these small, easy [...]

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The shadows of security

These days if you lift up a rock in your garden, you’ll find fifty different types of infosec types crawling around.
You have the consultants, the IT guru’s, the managers who are neither consultants or IT gurus. In addition you have sub-divisions such as forensic analysts and penetration testers. Or parallel streams as auditors, assurance, risk [...]

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2009 the year of information security

So it’s the beginning of 2009 and most people are either struggling re-adjusting to work after the holidays or wishing they hadn’t made those over-ambitious new year resolutions.
Well rather than doing the infosec resolutions for 2009, I thought I’d do something far more interesting and write a risk forecast for the upcoming year.
Now I know [...]

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